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All categories Victoria Area

WANTED: I have zero post-secondary education, and absolutely no experience.

There are a million reasons why you should not hire me. As an effort to make myself seem as undesirable as possible I am prepared to list a few of these reasons for you - should you decide to continue reading: - I lack ambition. I've worked as a public servant in the food service industry for nearly eight years. I frequently turn down promotions because the idea of further solidifying my future as a lackey causes me to lose sleep at night. The illusion of being able to leave without consequences is much more comforting. - I have problems keeping my mouth shut. I consistently place myself in compromising situations because, to a fault, I say what needs to be said whether or not people want to hear it. Miraculously, I manage to hold a positive reputation with my peers despite my relentless efforts to sabotage myself. - I'm a control freak. I make it my mission to discover the faults in any system which I belong to because I'm a sadist and I find pleasure in watching the status quo burn at the stake, through the reflection of my team-mates' quivering eyes. - I'm an idealist. My head should look like a raisin because it's been in the clouds so long, I can practically breathe water. While everyone else is living in the real world, I'm off exploring outer space in search of heaven's gates. When I finally return to planet Earth I make it my mission to preach my gospel and take everyone back with me. - I have an unrelenting ego. I quit my second job because my dignity is more important to me than being patronised by a child with a scholarship from his parents. Instead of looking for another soul-sucking part-time job, I'm wasting my time on an ad for Used Victoria that will effectively lead me nowhere because my tired brain finds joy in self-deprecation. IF, for some reason you didn't stop reading this cringe compilation reject after the first sentence... IF you are in fact going against all of your God-given instincts and have considered that I may be worth speaking to... perhaps you may be stupid enough to even consider responding. Well! One of us is in luck because despite my apparent incompetence, I managed to persuade myself to leave my contact information below.

Ad #
32807206
Posted
January 7, 2019
Expiry
February 6, 2019
Status
EXPIRED
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  • British Columbia
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